Why We Should Focus on The Power to Forgive

Why Using The Power To Forgive Can Change Your Life

Why You Should Forgive Someone Else

There’s a different type of feeling when someone has wronged you. Maybe they said something behind you back and you found out, or maybe they caused you physical pain. It is understandable that you may feel more than annoyed or even upset. There is that saying “forgive and forget“, however I suggest “forgive but never forget“. Yes, people can change it’s very true – I 100% believe I am a completely different person to the man I was just 1 year ago, but you should always remember who has wronged you and how for two reasons:

  1. So that you are ready if someone else does something similar.
  2. So you know the values of the person who wronged you until they can give you undeniable proof that their values have changed.

Consider every problem you face in life a learning experience. Anytime someone causes you mental or physical grief you must, eventually, forgive them. It is you who is holding onto a negative emotion and therefore it is YOU who is sabotaging yourself. You will never feel emotionally stable in certain areas of your life until you can forgive those who have wronged you.

My Brother

My older brother and I had a great relationship until he was around 21 and I was around 14 years old. I felt he was always judging me and trying to be the alpha male at the time, we fell out on multiple occasions.

When I was around 23 years old, we had a massive argument. At the time, I was quite a negative person in some respects. I was researching into how “the government is against us” and all that sort of stuff which doesn’t really bother me anymore as my focus is now solely on self-progression. He was being quite rude at the time and the argument escalated heatedly. Eventually, after around what seemed to be 20 minutes of constant shouting he left and I didn’t see him for over 2 years.

For the first year I blamed it all on him and I held a huge grudge. For the second year I started to force myself to look at the situation in a deeper manner. I realised that it was ME that had lost control, it was ME who shouted first, it was ME who argued with EMOTION. Once you attach emotion onto an argument, you are bound to lose control over yourself if someone disagrees, especially if they are patronising when they disagree (which my brother seemed to be at the time).

I learned over that year that once you can forgive someone, no matter what they’ve done, you let go of all negativity. You can remember what happened, but that doesn’t mean you can’t put yourself in the other person’s shoes, or even forgive them outright. Once you forgive, the other person loses all ammunition to hurt you.

Forgive YOURSELF

The problem I see time and time again in people is that they feel like once they’ve forgiven everyone else their life should be fine… but the real power of forgiveness lies at the heart of your own self.

In the past you may have done things you believe were wrong. You may have done things that make you still feel guilty about to this day. Can you think of anything that makes you feel guilty right now? Guilt forces you to look at yourself in a negative manner – “How could I have done that?“.

Guilt is one of the worst emotions to block yourself from having stable relationships with anyone else. You must FORGIVE yourself for ANY wrongdoing. As long as you know you will try your hardest to never done it again. If you are guilty because of a current addiction, you must take all the steps available to you to release yourself from that current addiction AND you must NOT FEEL GUILTY. Forgive yourself! You are only human and humans make mistakes and act on habit. You are here to LEARN and PROGRESS. Think about it like this – the fact that you feel guilty means that you have a conscience. It means you KNOW you have done something wrong and you won’t do it again (or in the case of addiction, your desire is that you stop). Forgive yourself. You are only human. I want you to think about the situation(s) you feel guilty about. Analyse them. Is there ANYTHING you can do to make yourself feel better about them? Is there anything you can do to to change what happened? The past is gone. Let it be. Forgive yourself. You are only human.

If your guilt is causing you anxiety, depression, stress or you have an addiction click here.